It was on short notice, Charles and I decided to dine in Holland V middle of the week, I chose this place as it is strategically located about in between our work places.
We roamed around the place and I was shocked to see so many good looking men and ladies around Holland V compare to Ang Mo Kio that is..
It was so vibrant and crowded with good looking, dressed up youngster if I still consider myself as one of them. The chatter in the background just somehow dilutes all the stress and things at work. It was a comfortable evening in Holland V.
After roamed for about few minutes, we quickly decided to dine in a Thai restaurant which my parents liked this particular franchise. It was reasonable and has got decent ambiance. Ok, before this post become a food post, I would like to go back to my subject of the day, Charles. .
We started our conversation off with something very light, as in relationship issues. His breakup, my breakup recently, how we cope with it, dealt with it and probably might have moved on. He asked me a few questions about Joann, which I don't think I answered directly. I decided to hold back some of the information which I personally think will not add value to their current state. But I was rather flattered when Charles told me that they were lucky to have me as a close friend of theirs. Hah!
I feel so important now. :)
At the moment, we both agreed that we need a companion to talk things through. Maybe the person we used to share our feelings and emotions with, is no longer present, accessible or maybe should I say convenient to share with any more. It is like we were not friends any more, like what I used to play with my friends when I was primary 7. We temporarily stop speaking to each other to show how angry we are.
The person whom we used to share our bed with, all in a sudden became not only just a stranger but someone whom we would like to avoid. To avoid the awkwardness, frustration, something we might have hoped to happen but fear when it doesn't or the need of clarification, confrontation, etc.
It is a feeling which I choose not to think about it at the moment.
It wasn't our 1st gathering in Singapore, but somehow the gap between our catch up has made it like is our 1st one. It seems that we have not met for ages, it seems he has grown older. I can see his weariness, he seems to be shorter than he normally is, maybe is the invisible concrete block weighing at least 20 tonnes on crushing him to the floor. His voice, is not as punchy. His language, is not as mean as before. Cold Jokes were out of the league already. He became so serious to an extent that for the 1st time I hold all my banters in front of him.
From someone who is utterly confident, bright and positive; to someone whom I barely recognise. Life must have been mistreating him. Having said that, I feel pain and respect at the same time. The mixed feelings which is unjustifiable is seeping into my mind, tinting my specs. Just like how Erdinger is creeping into my head. Fooling with my words, especially the ability to put them in a proper manner or maybe should I say, in a pleasant manner.
I found myself giving opinions and comments which I think are inappropriate, especially when I am a close friend to both parties of this separated couple. I do not want to choose a side nor do I want to be a referee.
I want to be their mate, someone they can speak to. Someone they can trust their feelings with.
Which I think a friend should be. :)
you sure onot?
ReplyDelete