Secondary schoolmates

Last week, I was invited to a small gathering with my secondary schoolmates in an overpriced Japanese Restaurant call Shinkushiya. It wasn't particularly outstanding in any way apart from the figure next to the picture of the food in the menu. Pricey.

Moreover, not just the price, the location of the restaurant could be consider rather far too, it is about 45 minutes away from my place. Door to door would probably take me about an hour.

However, having said that, the opportunity to hang out with my secondary schoolmates would probably be ....Priceless. The opportunity of gathering with a bunch of schoolmates in foreign land is definitely worth all the effort, money and time.

The good thing about sitting together dear secondary schoolmates is that we all speak the same language effortlessly. The idea of sharing stories and jokes in our language which has strong hakka ascent, filling a classy Japanese restaurant is mind-boggling.

From the state of just being together with a bunch of secondary friends, I just realised how mistrust I have become, or should i say, comfortable with suspicion. I would put mask on, hardened my shell to protect myself like a crab. Not only that, with my strong claws, I suspect, I have had hurt someone over the table.

When I was young, I would talk about anything, more open to ideas, people and situation. Like a soft-shell crab. At least, I know I could care-less, do and say whatever I want, waste time, or maybe fall in love with snails. Most importantly, I was generous with trust, time, knowledge (if i had some) and love. Perhaps it is the experience of university, or being abroad, or quite simply growing old over the small handful of past years. I have lost the ability to speak without thinking or speak nothing with a positive gesture.
I somehow become more careful with words, thoughts and body languages. Which I think are essential to survive in a harsh conditions like reality. I cannot afford to be generous any more.

But that particular night, I am not sure if I am wearing a mask or plainly being careful with what I say and do. I have had a weird feelings that I am over- reacting to people whom I was so comfortable with when I was in secondary schools. Although we generally looked more mature, we are somehow still "us". How we used to scream, hate, care, cry, love and be real with each other. I am very impressed we all can get along by being so honest, real and harsh on each other. :)

"Dear readers, although I am now looking forward to our next catch up session with "us", but at the same time, fear that these excitements are just temporary. like a tipping point. "

7th month in Singapore

Despite travelling the same route on bus 22 everyday, I am still struggling when should I press the red button on the double-decker bus in order to stop on the exact bus-stop. Sometimes, I would wait long enough for another person to press the bell, so that I can just observe if the next bus stop is the place I am getting off.  On the contrary, sometimes I waited for too long, miss the bus stop and end up stopping at a bus stop further away.

Subconsciously, I found myself somehow reluctant to adapt the Singapore culture,Singlish, Mindset, Practice, appreciating singaporean ladies, etc. Maybe the gap for a man from a small town and this city has been too wide. I believe keeping this kind of mindset will lead me to extinction. I would probably perish in no time. I am not looking for a solution here but I am sharing fthe insights of my life here in Singapore. 

 I would like to briefly describe how my life has evolved in the past 7 months. 

First of all- Career.  I am please to say that the work that I am in now is somehow ideal for my career. It has been the sort of job which my body and mind can cope with at the moment. I cannot say that it is ideal for myself, or I love my job; what I can say now is that the job that I am currently with is something I have had looking for. I don't want to dress my career up or to glorify my job here, but this is what I am feeling now at the moment. 

Secondly-Social Life.  I am satisfied with my social life here. Lucky to have groups of friends surrounding me. With activities constantly pre-arranged by weeks. It makes me feel balanced but somehow insecure. This is because I don't think is sustainable in the long run. I always envisage my friends to have their own family in a matter of few years time and start dropping out from the social circle. Life in Singapore without my current social circle will be very different. 

Thirdly-Relationship...is something I would like to put on this post, but not to discuss about it now. I always have problem addressing my relationship, maybe because it somehow affect third party. Clearly, I do not want to have any misrepresentations.

Fourthly-Health. I am slowly gaining bad weight in Singapore. Due to eating out, social events(beer is the main culprit), long working hours, insufficient sleep and only exercise once a week. I cannot ignore this aspect of my life any more, as looking at the weighing scale to head east most of the time is depressing. 

So most of the aspects have been covered in this blog. Maybe I will go into more details when I am more ready to share. x